How To Save a Life?
by BonesFABERRY
Summary: Rachel Berry was the perfect girl, the perfect Christian, the perfect neighbor and the perfect daughter...but she had a perfect secret. What happens when someone finds out? Will there be more secrets? Rated M:deals with abuse,self harming, strong language, rape, etc.
1. Father's Wrong

**SUMMARY: Rachel Berry was the perfect girl, the perfect Christian, the perfect neighbor and the perfect daughter..but she had a perfect secret. What happens when someone finds out? Will there be more secrets?**

**This is my first fic, is A/U. Faberry. Don´t like it, don´t read it.**

**Special Features: Cheerio!Rachel**

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**How to save a life?**

Chapter 1**: **_**Father's wrong**_

"_Come here little girl, Daddy wants to hold you_

_Come here little girl, Daddy feels warm_

_I just want to show you that I'm nice_

_I just want to show you that I'm kind_

_I want you to know that I'm yours_

_And I want to know that you're mine"_

_Rachel Barbra Berry, she was the perfect girl … _

"Hello Mrs. Hodge, how have you been?" Rachel said with a smile

"Hi sweetheart, I´ve been better but you know I´m going on"

"That´s really good, how is Mr. Hodge?"

"He is doing fine, he's coming home next week" the old lady said with a wide smile "but anyways, how are your dads?"

"They're fine, daddy's in a work trip and dad's staying with me at home, and he sent you this" she handed a jar with cookies to her neighbor "Your favorite flavor and I made them just for you"

"Thank you sweetie, you're wonderful"

"I´ve been told so"

…_the perfect Christian…_

Rachel was standing at the front door, smiling and greeting everyone that passed the door. Since she was 5, she's been in that spot, talking to people, or raising money to help the church. Everybody loved her.

"Doing fine over her Rach?" Pastor Mark, a tall man in his 40's, asked her with kind eyes

"Sure Pastor Mark, I was telling Mrs. Holliday here" she said pointing to the woman "that the next charity event will be happening at the end of the month, so we hope to see her like every year, right Mrs. Holliday?"

"You bet honey, are you going to help me with my stand?" she looked at the brunette with caring eyes

"Yes, you know I´ll be there, like every year, like God wants me to"

…_the perfect neighbor…_

"Wachel!" MJ, her 5 year old neighbor shouted

"Hey MJ! Give me five" she rose her hand so the boy could 'high five' her, and he did as he was told "How are you doing?"

"Fine, mommy wans me to ask you if you can be my sitter tonight"

"Sure MJ, that's what neighbors are for, tell her I'll be there at 7, ok?"

"Sure, thanks Wachel"

… _and the perfect daughter_

Leroy was sitting in first row looking, with proud eyes, at her daughter. He knew she was good at performing and he was proud, he always bragged about her around his friends and employees, he made a whole room dedicated to Rachel, with trophies, diplomas and ribbons that Rachel has won over the years.

At every competition, Rachel poured her heart out, she wanted to make her dad proud of her, and she craved for his approval.

However, this competition was different, while she was jumping and turning around, her right foot slipped and obviously she fell. Everybody was looking at her with wide eyes and laughing at her, she was embarrassed, she was afraid and she knew there were going to be serious consequences.

_But she had a perfect secret…_

Leroy was mad and angry at her daughter. _Who the hell she thinks she is to embarrass me like that? In front of everybody_, he thought while he took the leather belt he used in this situations. "Rachel!" he shouted "I want you here at this minute"

"Yes sir?" Rachel asked, she was afraid, she knew what was coming. _ How can I be this stupid? This is not going to end well. _She approached slow, she knew he was pissed and angry at her.

"You know what you did, right?" She just nodded "And you know what happens when you do dad" she nodded again "Answer me!" he shouted at her as he pulled off her hair

"Yes sir" she felt tears forming on her eyes. _Don't cry Rachel, don't cry, you're going to get him angrier if you cry _

"You know you should have been more careful, but you can't cause you're really stupid" he shouted at his ear and then he threw her across the room, her head colliding with a table

"_I just want to fill you with my warmth_

_I want you to feel like more than a son_

_I want you to know_

_I love you as much as your mum_

_But if you think it's wrong, don't tell any other_

_Or I'll have to hurt you and I'll hurt your mother_

_And I could hurt you so much more_

_Than any pain you've ever felt before"_

"I want you naked, now!"

"Please dad, don't" she was crying, she knew it was bad but she couldn't stand it, suddenly, the belt landed on her rib cage

"Now!" he shouted again as he began to kick her and whipping her

"Yes sir" Rachel did as she was told, she was afraid, even though this was not the first time

"Rachel! On the floor now! In your stomach!" it was his favorite position and he wanted her to pay

As she was on the floor, tears streaming down her face, looking down with her eyes closed, his dad unbuttoned his pants and lay above her daughter, he grabbed his belt and he began to choke her with it "This is the only way you will ever learn"

"D-dad, I-I-I can't…" she tried to breath, she wanted to fight but she couldn't

"Shut up!" he took his boxers off "You´re going to enjoy this, you hear me little slut!"

"Y-yes sir" she closed her eyes when he began to kiss her, the kiss where rough, sometimes he bit her and made her bled. She was waiting for the moment, for the worst. She cried of pain when he entered, she tried not to shout, she didn't want him to get mad. She felt him at every moment, he felt him get excited, and the he felt him come.

"You are going to pay!" and then he did it again, and again, and again.

She never knew when she passed out. Leroy got angrier because of that, and began to punch her, kick her and choke here. She had no strength left, she prayed for help but it never came. When her dad what satisfied with the results, he let her go and left the room. She was in fetal position, bleeding, crying, hurting, sobbing, and then she felt asleep.

"_Well I'm not alone and neither are you_

_There's plenty more fathers who do what I do_

_But if you think it's wrong, don't tell any other_

_Or I'll have to hurt you and I'll hurt your mother_

_And I could hurt you so much more_

_Than any pain you've ever felt before"_

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**AN: Sorry if I misspelled something.**

**The song is Father's Wrong by The Men They Couldn't Hang**

**This is going to be like a song!fic**

**I don't own Glee or its characters neither any song used in this fic**

**Hope you like it. Any thoughts? Should I continue?**


	2. Dirty Little Secret

**Sorry for being late. I was busy with school. Here´s chapter two!**

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**How to save a life?**

Chapter 2: _**Dirty Little Secret**_

"_Let me know that I've done wrong_

_When I've known this all along_

_I go around a time or two_

_Just to waste my time with you"_

_Everybody has something in their mind that they want to forget, they want to go back in time, they want to fix their mistakes, they want to be happy. Especially Rachel, she just wanted to see everything in a blur and don't remember anything about last night, but luck isn't in her side, she remembers everything like it was the first time._

It was the same scenario she was very familiar with: naked, arms wrapped around her knees, covered with blood and tears, alone, hurt,_ exposed_. Every time it was the same, she would end passing out at the cold floor of the studio, the bathroom, her bedroom, hell, even in the basement. Somehow, her dad always found a way to hurt her, somehow, he managed to sneak from his husband and punish Rachel.

Rachel woke up at the rise of the sun, her head pounding and covered with blood, she was hurt. Somehow, she managed to stand up and walk to her room to check the damage. She had bruises and cuts everywhere, old cuts where open and bleeding among the new ones.

"Crap!" She cursed as she finished looking at the damage _This is going to be hard to hide, but not impossible, I´m a Berry after all, right? At least it's not like the times I didn't know how to use make up…_

"_Tell me all that you've thrown away_

_Find out games you don't wanna play_

_You are the only one that needs to know"_

_The first time he blamed it on the alcohol…_

**FLASHBACK**

_Everybody was at the backyard, there where tables, chairs, a bar, a snack table and a stage. Everything seemed perfect; Rachel was at her room, waiting for her call, she was nervous, even though she knew perfectly the song._

"_This is your moment to shine" a 12 year old Rachel told to herself while looking at her reflection "You have known this song since you were 2, nothing can go wrong, right?"_

_Leroy entered the room and look at his daughter "Rachel! Is your time to shine" he said to her as they exited the room_

"_Hello everybody, my name is Rachel Berry, I´m Leroy's daughter and today I will enlighten you with my best performance of my favorite song 'Don't Rain on my Parade', a song I have known since I was 2, just for the record" She smiles at everybody before looking at her dad that was holding her iPod at the bottom of the improvised stage "Hit it!" _

"_Don't tell me not to live_

_Just sit and putter_

_Life's candy_

_And the sun's a ball of butter_

_Don't bring around a cloud_

_To rain on my parade_

_Don't tell me not to fly_

_Don't tell me not to-fly_

_Just-sit and-got to-"_

_Everybody stood in silence, they were shocked, was her really Leroy's perfect daughter that he would always brag about? Rachel was ashamed and tears were forming on her eyes, she has never choked before. Nobody moved like what it felt like hours, but there were only a few seconds before laughter was heard._

"_Way to go Leroy! Is this midget that can´t sing your daughter? I thought you told us that she was perfect, had perfect voice and singed perfectly! Guess what! You´re wrong!" Suddenly the room erupted on laughter. Rachel ran off the stage and went straight to her room, tears streaming down her face._

_When the party was over, a drunken Leroy, went upstairs really angry, he was embarrassed in front of everybody, soon everybody will found out about her crap of daughter. The anger blinded him; he wanted to make her suffer like he suffered. So he headed to her room, finding her wrapped around the covers, then picking her up and then slamming her against the wall, she woke up instantly, feeling everything spin and the she began to get scared, her dad was looking at her like if she was a delinquent and he began getting closer and closer, when he reached his target, he punched her again, and again and again. Leroy was knocked out of his little world when he saw something red flowing out of her daughter's body. "Rachel! I'm really sorry" he said sobbing while he wrapped his arms around his daughter's body "I don't know what on Earth possessed me"_

"_It's okay dad, I know that you would-you would never h-hurt me on pur-purpose" _

"_It's not okay!" he said while he was running a hand through her hair "I hurt you and I promise that I would never lay a hand on you again, okay?"_

"_Kay"_

"_It'll be our dirty little secret, okay? No one can now about this" he said coldly_

"_Kay" Since that day, Rachel was afraid of her father._

_The next day, Rachel learnt the marvelous things that make-up did for women, she covered every bruise, cause it was hers and her dad´s dirty little secret, no one had to knew about what happened that day._

**END OF FLASHBACK**

"_Who has to know_

_The way she feels inside (inside)_

_Those thoughts I can't deny (deny)_

_These sleeping dogs won't lie (won't lie)_

_And all I've tried to hide_

_It's eating me apart_

_Trace this line back"_

_And the second time, he said she deserved it…_

**FLASHBACK**

"_How you dare to talk me like that!" An angry Leroy shouted as he slapped her daughter har in her right cheek_

"_How dare you!" she shouted "and I´ll talk you how I please! You´re not my father!" she was mad at him, not measuring her words, she began to ramble "You broke up my family! It´s your fault that I don´t have a mom! You don´t care about me, you never cared, you weren´t sorry when you said it! You're a fucking liar that lost the right to call himself my father the first time you-" she never get to finish cause she was slapped in her other cheek, tears were forming at the corner of her eyes "I hate you!_

_Leroy was beyond pissed, there was no return, "Who the hell you think you are! You got yourself in a big problem" he unzipped his belt and hit Rachel with it in her rib, she cried as she hit her again several times, "You deserve this shit and more!" he was blinded by anger, he didn't listen to her begging, after a couple of minutes, he saw red._

"_D-dad, ple-please stop!" she was scared and nervous_

_After realizing what he had done, he tried to wrap his arms around her daughters trembling body but she flinched. "Rach, I´m really sorry, I´m so sorry" he said sobbing_

"_Don´t!" she crawled backwards until she reached the wall, resting her head between her knees "You are a fucking monster! You pro-promised me that you would never do that again!_

"_I'm sorry" he said crying_

"_Don't cry! You don't get to cry!"_

_Leroy stood up and headed to the door, before heading out he shouted to her "You know what? You deserve this fucking shit! It´s the only way you'll ever learn!" he closed the door and ran to his room_

_She swore she heard he mumbled "slut and bastard" before passing out._

**END OF FLASHBACK**

"_I'll keep you my dirty little secret_

_(Dirty little secret)_

_Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret_

_(Just another regret)"_

Rachel finished putting her make-up on, her mind wandering to the only day she found the missing piece to complete her life, she was really happy but then, her stupid ramble had to ruin everything. A day that started as the best one ended in the beginning of her nightmare.

_Life can change in any minute; it can change with an action or with a word. The best day of your life can turn in the worst one. That night, he became a monster by raping his daughter…_

**FLASHBACK**

_Rachel was eating dinner with her dad, who she now called Leroy or sir, she was excited cause she knew she found that 'something' that was missing._

"_How was your day Rachel?"_

"_It was awesome da-Leroy" she was really excited "I met someone"_

"_Yeah? And who is that someone and how did you two met?" he tried to be a better father, since the last time he lashed out on his daughter_

"_Well I was at the swings in the perk, when this guy approached me saying a lot of bad things, so I was crying, the suddenly someone shoved the guy and punched him on his nose, totally breaking it, then she asked me why I was crying and I told her why and then thank you cause she was like my knight in the shinning armor" her smile was wide "The she told me her name was Lucy and I was captivated by her beauty, not her outside but her inside," Leroy didn't like where this conversation was heading "so I felt like a million of butterflies in my stomach, my heart was beating faster and my palms were sweaty, it was" she sighed "love at first sight and as thank you gift, I gave her a kiss, which was totally awesome, and we made have a date tomorrow, isn't it exciting?"_

_Leroy was clenching his fists, all his plans were sinking so he took a decision, he would teach Rachel what a real man was like "Rachel! I forbid you to see that dyke again, no daughter of mine is going to be gay!" he stood up and took her daughter by her arm_

"_But dad…"_

"_No! I'll straighten you up, you are going to have a nice boyfriend, get married, and have a lot of children, do you understand me?_

"_Yes, sir" she was hopping for the best, she was praying, she needed someone to save her._

_Her dad knocked her to the floor and undid his pants, raping her, going in and out of her without feeling bad, she was bleeding by now, which made him excited, every time he came he started again. Rachel was having the worst day ever, she felt his dad getting harder, she cried, and begged him to stop, but he didn't. She always imagined that her first time was going to be magic, with the person she loved and at 25, but reality was worse, she lost it to her dad while he was trying to 'straighten her up'._

_The next day she missed her date, not knowing that she left a heartbroken Lucy go away. _

**END OF FLASHBACK**

She got dressed, and acted like if nothing happened. She still missed Lucy, her first love, even though she said to her dad that she didn't know a Lucy, she would never forget her. "I deserve everything that has happened to me, I´m not a dyke, I´m straight and hot, I would never like a girl" she said out loud, trying to convince herself. But deep down she knew, she could never forget. _Lucy, I wish you were here._ She looked across her window, her eyes wandering through the street; she noticed a truck parked in front of the house, she had new neighbors. _I wonder how they are… _She left her room, and went on the mission to greet her new neighbors-.

"_I'll keep you my dirty little secret_

_(Dirty little secret)_

_Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret_

_(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)_

_My dirty little secret_

_Dirty little secret_

_Dirty little secret"_

_Little did Rachel know that Lucy was back in town..._

"_Who has to know?_

_Who has to know?"_

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**I don´t own Glee, neither its charecters or songs that I use here :D**

**Any thoughts? Reviews please. **_  
_

**Questions:**

**A) Do you want to know Lucy's story?**

**B) Who do you want to find out first of Rachel´s secrets**

**C) What do you think about Shelby getting involved?**

**Thanks everyone. Updating soon :D**


	3. Welcome To My Life

**SUMMARY: Rachel Berry was the perfect girl, the perfect Christian, the perfect neighbor and the perfect daughter…but she had a perfect secret. What happens when someone finds out? Will there be more secrets?**

**This is my first fic, is A/U. Faberry. Don´t like it, don´t read it.**

**Special Features: Cheerio!Rachel**

**How to save a life?**

Chapter 3**: **_**Welcome to my life**_

"_Do you ever feel like breaking down?_

_Do you ever feel out of place,_

_Like somehow you just don´t belong,_

_And no one understands you?"_

Lucy, in her peers opinion, was not normal and a freak, maybe it was because of her glasses, her piggy tails, her obsession of comics and computers, her geek and friki attitude, her superheroes t-shirts or her shy attitude. If you asked her dad, Lucy was an angel, she was (sometimes) the son he never had; if you asked her mother, Lucy was just a girl that had a big heart and gave a lot without expecting something in return. If you asked Lucy about herself, she would say that she's an abomination, she doesn't belong to this world and she was misunderstood by everybody, including her own family.

_Do you ever wanna runaway?  
Do you lock yourself in your room?  
With the radio on turned up so loud  
That no one hears you screaming._

Every time Lucy felt like running away or depressed, she would lock herself in her room, gets the razor blade that was hidden in a box along with her diary, turn the music up too loud, and cut every piece of skin that wasn't visible at first sight. Many times she thought about ending her life, she was sure that no one would miss her, everybody was better without her.

"_No, you don't know what it's like  
When nothing feels all right  
You don't know what it's like  
To be like me"_

No one would ever understand what was like to be her. No one knew the difficult life that Lucy had. She still remembers the day she was going to end her life for good, she had everything prepared: she left a note in her room, explaining why she did this and that she didn't blame her parents, but herself for not being perfect; she had the razor blade, some alcohol and pills that her grandma used when she had epilepsy attacks packed in her school bag so no one could suspect anything. The plan itself was flawless, it was fools proof. She was going to kill herself in her special place at the park: behind all the oak and pine trees that were near the pond. But she didn't count on finding a certain brunette that took her breath away.

"_To be hurt, to feel lost  
To be left out in the dark  
To be kicked when you're down  
To feel like you've been pushed around"_

**FLASHBACK**

_Lucy went to the park with one goal in mind: End with her life. She took the road that led to her special place, surrounded by trees and with a wonderful view of the pond. She was passing by the slides and swings, when she heard a loud sob and some shouting. Startled, Lucy followed the screams and saw a big guy shouting at a tiny girl, who was sobbing; she couldn't see her face, because the girl had her sight on the floor. She approached carefully to the guy and carefully dropped her bag on the floor, when she was a few feet away, she shoved the guy to the floor and punched his nose, she felt how it broke at the contact with her fist. When the guy ran away afraid of what Lucy might do next, she approached the brunette carefully, without scaring her._

"_Why are you crying?" Lucy said to the tiny brunette_

_When the brunette locked eyes with Lucy, she felt like the air was knocked out of her body, her palms started to sweat, her mouth went dry, her heart skipped a beat, and she felt a million butterflies in her tummy…she was absolutely stunning and breathtaking._

"_Are you going to make fun of me?"_

"_No!... I mean no, I just want to know what happened to you, I didn't punch that guy for nothing" she said jokingly, trying to lighten the mood. She was afraid that she scared the beautiful brunette, but when she saw a little smile in the brunettes face, she knew she did the right thing._

"_I was crying because Finn, the guy you punched, was screaming at me, saying that I'm an abomination, how ugly I am, how my fathers are faggots, how they deserve to die" she sobbed and looked to the ground "An-and then he, he told me that the world would be better without me" she whispered the last part, not daring to look at Lucy, afraid of being laughed at or been told the same thing again. _

"_I don't like when people say things like that" Lucy said out of nowhere, surprising the brunette "I think he's wrong, you don't look like an abomination, you're really pretty" she said with a slight brush on her cheeks._

"_Thank you, no one has ever told me things like that" the girl said sincerely and Lucy's heart broke at the sight of the broken brunette "You were like my knight in shining armor….Oh! How stupid of me! I'm Rachel Barbra Berry, nice to meet you-" she extended her hand_

"_Lucy" Lucy raised an eyebrow at Rachel and shook her hand_

"_-Lucy, just Lucy? Don't you have a last name?" _

"_Just call me Lucy, and you're welcome, I do anything I can to help a princess in distress" she took Rachel's right hand, bowed and kissed it, making both blush at the contact._

"_Well, can this princess say a proper thank you to the knight in shining armor?"_

"_I don't know what you- mmmph" Lucy was cut out by Rachel's lips on hers and hands on her shoulders, pulling her closer, the truth was that she had never kissed someone in her whole life, but this kiss felt right, it made her feel everything she would never have imagined; she saw fireworks, heard a band playing silly love songs and she felt a high that she usually got when she cut herself. Her train of thought was broken by a tongue sweeping her lower lip, she gasped, and the tong entered, she didn't know what to do, where to put her hands, but they seemed to have a mind of their own and settled in Rachel's waist. Rachel sucked Lucy's tongue, and neither of them knew who moaned; that broke them from their daze, they ducked their heads and blushed furiously._

"_I'm so-sorry Lucy, I don't know what came over me, it was, I don't know…but it felt so right, and I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I tend to do stupid things…Stupid Rachel" she mumbled while hitting her face with her palm "and I totally understand if you want to make fun of me, don't talk me again or hit me, but please avoid my nose" she covered her nose with both of her hands, still not looking to the other girl's eyes._

"_Rachel…I don't want you to be sorry" she smiled at the brunette and took her cheeks in her hands, making eye contact "Look at me, it was totally awesome and actually…" she bit her lip "it was my first kiss, no one have ever wanted to kiss me, because I'm ugly" her smile fell "and I uses glasses, piggy tails, superheroes t-shirts" she looked at her favorite Superman t-shirt "I'm a geek, I'm not worth it, so I appreciate that you kissed me, it made me feel alive" she whispered the last part, not knowing how she got through her whole speech without tears._

"_Lucy, you're the prettiest girl I've ever met. You're not all the things you said, although you're a dork, I think you're the cutest dork ever" at this statement Lucy's cheeks reddened "and I think you're worth it, do you want to know a secret?" when she saw Lucy's nod, she continued "I have seen you in school, but I never knew your name, I always see you in the bleachers reading comics, or drawing in the hallway, and I like you". At this statement, Lucy's heart skipped a beat; she had a big grin on her face and pecked Rachel's lips quickly._

"_Thank you, that was so beautiful" her eyes fell on the forgotten bag that laid on the ground a few feet from them, her eyes widened at the reminding of what was she going to do before, her plans were ruined, but maybe it was destiny, maybe she was destined to met Rachel, kiss her and confess her feelings for the tiny brunette. Feelings? That was to forward, but maybe in a future she will have them. This was her second chance at life, she could do things right, she could change and live a perfect life. "Go on a date with me"_

"_You…you want to take me on a date?"_

"_Yes, it would be the perfect opportunity to get to know each other better, have a good time, and we can take things from there" _

"_I…I don't know what to say, we are too young to go out in dates, aren't we?"_

_Lucy's confidence flattered a little, but as always, she had an answer for everything "We're not too young, it's the perfect age to start dating, we're both thirteen and I like you too" she took Rachel's hand "Please say yes" she said looking so vulnerable._

"_Okay, I'll go on a date with you" she smiled and hugged Lucy._

"_What do you think of going out, let's say tomorrow at five? Here at the park"_

"_I think it's wonderful!" Rachel glanced at her clock "Oh God, I have to go like right now, my da-Leroy is going to be so mad at me if I'm not there before dinner. Thank you so much Lucy, I'll see you tomorrow for our date" with that, she pecked Quinn's lips one last time and left._

"_See you tomorrow Rach" she whispered to no one as she watched Rachel walk away._

_***HTSAL***_

_Lucy was waiting for Rachel to show up, it was going to be the most awesome date ever. She had a beautiful pink dress and a white cardigan, her hair down and light make-up. She had everything prepared; she was just waiting patiently, with a rose in her hand. Seconds turned in to minutes, minutes turned into hours, and Rachel never showed. Lucy was heartbroken, because for the first time in her live, she felt like someone cared for her, that someone might love her…how wrong she was, she examined the rose, it was beautiful, it symbolized everything she wasn't. So, she threw it to the ground and stomped on it; with tears cascading down her face, she ran and ran until she got to the house, she look at the bag that rested beside the door, and continued with her plan._

**END OF FLASHBACK**

"_To be on the edge of breaking down  
And no one's there to save you  
No you don't know what it's like  
Welcome to my life"_

It feels like it was yesterday when she tried to kill herself, when in reality, it was four years ago. She still remembers how her parents found her, passed out in her room, covered in blood and weak pulse. After weeks of therapy, it was decided that she was going back to school; but there was an inconvenient: _Rachel Berry_. While she was at the hospital, she told her parents what happened, how she felt, and the last straw, meeting Rachel Berry, the date and how she never appeared; a week later, her parents told her how they talked with Rachel Berry, how she called her daughter a dyke and an abomination, and that she was disappointed that she didn't succeeded in killing herself. Lucy cried all night, after talking with her therapist, they found a way to make Lucy release her feelings: writing, it consisted in writing letters to the people that hurt her and how she felt about it. It worked, except that there was a little detail, the letters that were meant to be for Rachel Berry, where never delivered.

"_Do you wanna be somebody else  
Are you sick of feeling so left out  
Are you desperate to find something more  
Before your life is over"_

Lucy and her family moved out of town, she couldn't stand being near of Rachel Berry, the girl that stole her heart and made her believe, and at the same time, the girl that broke her heart.

"_Are you stuck inside a world you hate  
Are you sick of everyone around  
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies  
While deep inside you're bleeding"_

Now, three years later, Lucy was back to the town that had all her demons, the town that was her hell, but at the same time it was her heaven. She looked how they passed stores, trees, houses…Lima hasn't changed a bit in this three years, she sighed, this was going to be a though year.

"_To be on the edge of breaking down  
And no one's there to save you  
No, you don't know what it's like"_

This time, she had the perfect plan, nothing to do with the plan to kill herself three years ago. This plan was nothing but perfect and flawless, it consisted on one word written in big bold letters at the last page of her diary: **REVENGE**. _Rachel Berry _would never know what hit her.

_So yeah, welcome to Lucy's life._

"_Welcome to my life  
Welcome to my life  
Welcome to my life"_

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**AN: Sorry if I misspelled something. Sorry for the delay**

**The song is Welcome To My Life by Simple Plan**

**This is going to be like a song!fic**

**I don't own Glee or its characters neither any song used in this fic**

**Hope you like it. Any thoughts? Should I continue? Suggestions?**


	4. I'm A Fake

**SUMMARY: Rachel Berry was the perfect girl, the perfect Christian, the perfect neighbor and the perfect daughter…but she had a perfect secret. What happens when someone finds out? Will there be more secrets?**

**This is my first fic, is A/U. Faberry. Don´t like it, don´t read it.**

**Special Features: Cheerio!Rachel**

* * *

_"Small, simple, safe price. Rise the wake and carry me with all of my regrets. This is not a small cut that scabs, and dries, and flakes, and heals. And I am not afraid to die; I'm not afraid to bleed and fuck and fight, I want the pain of payment. What's left, but a section of pygmy sized cuts. Much like a slew of a thousand unwanted fucks. Would you be my little cut? Would you be my thousand fucks? And make mark leaving space for the guilt to be liquid. To fill and spill over and under my thoughts. My sad, sorry, selfish cry out to the cutter. I'm cutting trying to picture your black, broken heart. Love is not like anything. Especially a fucking knife!"_

**How to save a life?**

Chapter 3**: **_**I'm A Fake**_

"_Look at me._

_You can tell,_

_By the way I move and do my hair,_

_Do you think that it's me?_

_Or it's not me?_

_I don't even care"_

Rachel Berry was walking through the hallways of William McKinley High School, the crowds parted like red sea, she was at the top of the pyramid, it was a benefit that came with being the Head Cheerleader. She walked like nothing ever happened, like she didn´t give a shit about the world; everybody watched in awe as she walked past them, to everybody, she was a role model, she was the Queen, no one ever dared to go against her will; she adjusted her ponytail and reunited with her boyfriend, the star quarterback of the Titans, Finn Hudson.

"Hey babe" Finn said while he pecked Rachel's cheek

"Finn, how many times have I told you that I don't like you calling me _babe_?"

"Sorry babe" he said putting his best charming face, which in reality, he looked like he was constipated.

"You're so frustrating!" Rachel didn't want to deal with Finn, so she just stormed to her classroom. _Why am I with him? He's an idiot!_ She felt Finn's presence behind her "Finn, I don't feel like dealing with you right now, so please just go"

"But babe…" he whined like a little kid

"Finn! I told you not to follow me, don't talk to me until I talk to you, ok?"

"Babe, please just…"

"She told you to leave her alone!" a guy's voice said

"Dude! Don't you see I'm talking with my girlfriend? Back off!" he shoved the guy, making him fall to the ground

"Finn! Stop it!" she tried to grab him by his letterman jacket "Don't hurt him!"

"Why are you trying to defend him? I'm your boyfriend!" he was getting angry "You're supposed to side with me"

"Finn, I'm your girlfriend, but you know I don't condone violence! So stop this act right now and start acting like a man!"

"So I'm not man enough for you! That's why you don't put out? Because I have heard from the other Cheerios that you're a-" a slap cut him off

"How you dare?! Do you seriously think that I'm a slut?" she put her hands on her hips "Don't you think that I haven't her the freshman Cheerios talking about how a wonderful night they had with you? Do you think that I'm that stupid?"

Finn was furious, he was fuming, so he did what he never did before….he slapped Rachel. Suddenly the world stopped, Rachel had her hand in her cheek, she was stunned; the hallway was silent, no one could believe that Finn, the "perfect boyfriend" had hit the Head Cheerio.

The guy that was shoved by Finn, got out of his trance, and threw a punch, hitting Finn right in the nose, breaking it in the process; the blows didn't stop there, the guy continued punching and kicking that douche, until Rachel shouted.

"Stop it!" she said gaining the attention of both guys "Finn, I never thought you could do this, you were always so sweet and charming, but I'm done with you!"

"But babe…."

"Don't! You got your chance, and it's over now" she turned to the other guy "Come on, you got to see the nurse"

_***HTSAL***_

"How are you feeling Michael?" she said to her best friend that was at the nurse office

"I'm okay" he said putting a piece of steak on his left eye "I had gotten worse, believe me" he smiled

"You didn't had to do that, you just got hurt"

"It was worth it, you're worth it" he flashed her a charming smile "Also he's a douche, I don't know why you're with him"

"Believe me when I say that I don't know either" she gave him a sad smile "Thanks for defending me Michael"

"You don't need to thank me, what are best friends for?"

Yes, Michael Chang and Rachel Berry were bests friends since diapers, their parents worked together. They have been there for each other, they have been good times in their friendship, but there were also bad times: like the time that Rachel refused to eat, to sleep, and to go out of her room because her mother left, Mike was there, he was always there. When they entered High School, they friendship never changed, they stayed strong, Mike was there for Rachel's tryout for the Cheerios, and Rachel was at Mike's football tryout. At first sight, you could think they were a couple, but in reality, they're just best friends.

"You're my best friend to Michael" she smiled, in moments like this, was when she wanted to cry, she wanted tears of happiness instead of pain. Her eyes were empty of happy tears, she didn't remember how to cry of happiness, she just knew crying of pain.

"_I feel big, I feel tall, I feel dry._

_Dry._

_Just look at me, look at me now._

_I'm a fake, I'm a fake, I'm a fake, I'm a fake._

_Just look at me, look at me now._

_I'm a fake, I'm a fake, I'm a fake, I'm a fake."_

Rachel excited the nurse, and put on her best bitch façade and tightened her pony tail, her hands on her hips and her skirt swaying side to side. Yes, Rachel Berry, the perfect girl, the perfect Christian, the girl that looked like an angel, was the HBIC. Everybody was afraid of here, they were afraid to even breathe the same air as her, she was always putting the losers on their place, and she was the one that discovered the damage that Slushies could cause. The only person that never took her shit was her second in charge, Santana Lopez, best known as _Satan__**.**_

"Berry" Santana approached Rachel "I heard what happened"

"Lopez, I'm not in the mood for one of your bitchy and sarcastic comments, so please leave me alone" she refused to make eye contact

"Look Berry, I don't like you and I don't tolerate you; but, I know how it feels" she said the last part with a soft whisper while putting a hand on the brunette's shoulder. This seemed to get a reaction from Rachel, who immediately shoved the Latina to the lockers.

"You know _nothing_" Rachel put and arm over the Latina's neck, pushing her more to the lockers. "So know, leave me alone or believe me when I say that I _will_ end you"

Santana couldn't breathe properly, but she could still manage to say a weak "I know"

"Drop it Santana!" she shoved the Latina one more time and stormed off

Santana just stood there, watching with wide eyes as the brunette walked, more like stormed, down the hallway. She just shook her head. Meanwhile Rachel was furious. W_ho does she think she is? She has no right to talk to me like that, as if we were best friends! Unbelievable, it was the cherry on top of the ice cream._

"_Satisfied, in your eyes._

_I'm the biggest fan I've got right now._

_I made sure that I look how I wanted to look._

_The people around me,_

_The people surround me."_

To the student body of WMHS, Rachel Berry had everything: she was pretty, popular, had such a loving family, people worshiped de ground she passed by, had a great body, a great singing voice, money, had talent and friends. She was perfect at their eyes, a bitch, but she was perfect. The teachers loved her, the students looked at her as a role model, even though she was always a bitch with them, her friends enjoyed her company, she had a lot of people, boys and girls, lined to go out with her or if they're lucky, just talk to her for a few seconds.

People surrounded Rachel everywhere she went, people took her to class, carried her books, bought her lunch, slushied losers for her, or they just followed her like lost puppies. Rachel always gave those people a little smile, which made their hearts melt, but they never saw through her HBIC façade, she just wanted someone to notice, but at the same time, she just wanted to be invisible. Yes, a lot ofpeople surrounded Rachel, but in reality, she was alone.

"_I feel big, I feel tall, I feel dry._

_Dry._

_Just look at me, look at me now._

_I'm a fake, I'm a fake, I'm a fake, I'm a fake._

_Just look at me, look at me now._

_I'm a fake, I'm a fake, I'm a fake, I'm a fake."_

Now, was time of Glee Club, even though it was originally made for losers, with Rachel in there, all the people wanted in. She was the one who decided who got in and who was out; she was harsh with people, she told them what they need to hear, not what they wanted to hear, actually they had 11 members due to Rachel's demands. Rachel also was the female lead at Glee Club and, unfortunately, Finn was her male lead. She was the main voice; she sang all the solos, the duets and the main parts of group numbers. Although Glee Club was meant to be her escape from her behind closed doors, but it was also her hell, the mayor divas at the Club, Mercedes and Kurt, always whispered and complained about her, they tried to steal her solos, and they didn't work half of what she did; for her fortune, Mike was always there to defend her.

"_My stomach hurts now,_

_And all tied off in lace._

_I pray, beg for anything to hit me in the face._

_And this sickness isn't me._

_And I pray to fall from grace._

_The last thing I see is feeling."_

Every time she pretended to be okay, she felt sick, she felt like nothing was in its place. She felt empty, like all the things she did were already programmed. She always prays to God to help her change, to have another live, to escape her house that was hell. She often felt disgusted at herself, she wants to be on the bottom of the school pyramid so no one could notice, so she didn't had feelings that haunted all her dreams, or nightmares. She felt void.

"_Just look at me now._

_I'm a fake, I'm a fake._

_Just look at me now._

_I'm a fake, I'm a fake."_

So, if you just take a minute of your time, you could see that Rachel was always wearing her walls up, a façade, you could see how her eyes were blank, how she didn't had any emotions, how her heart is broken, how much she needs help.

Yes, Rachel Berry was fake…

"_Fake!_

_Fake!_

_Fake!_

_Genuine fake!"_

…_genuine fake_.

* * *

**AN: Sorry if I misspelled something. Sorry for the delay**

**The song is I'm A Fake by The Used**

**This is going to be like a song!fic**

**I don't own Glee or its characters neither any song used in this fic**

**Hope you like it. Any thoughts? Should I continue? Suggestions? Which songs would you like to see in future chapters? **


	5. Back To Me

**SUMMARY: Rachel Berry was the perfect girl, the perfect Christian, the perfect neighbor and the perfect daughter…but she had a perfect secret. What happens when someone finds out? Will there be more secrets?**

**This is my first fic, is A/U. Faberry. Don´t like it, don´t read it.**

**Special Features: Cheerio!Rachel**

* * *

**How to save a life?**

Chapter 5**: **_**Back To Me**_

"_Hey you_

_So you never really found your way_

_Stay true_

_Did you ever make it through the day?"_

When Glee Club finished, Rachel went to Cheerios practice, which putting the weather, the screams of Sue Sylvester and the weak complexion of some Cheerios, was a disaster. She was so tired; she just wanted to get into her room and sleep.

After a hard day at school, Rachel arrived to her house, she went through the mail, and found a package with her name on it. Perplexed, Rachel took the package and went to her room, she was still tired, but the curiosity of what the package contained was killing her. Sleep could wait, so she opened the package

"Wha-at?!" if you said that she was confused, it would be an understatement, she lifted the papers that fell from the package and frowned. "Letters? Why are these letters here?"

She opened the first one, and tears started to prickle down her eyes.

_April 17__th__, 2007_

_Dear Rachel,_

_I'm writing you these, because my therapist suggested it, I guess you know that I tried to kill myself, but I didn't succeed. I'll tell you why I tried to kill myself, I had enough of people making fun of me and treating me like dirt, if I'm honest, the day I met you I was going to kill myself, I had the perfect plan: I had a razor blade, pills and alcohol, I was going to kill myself in the park, you know how there's place hidden between oak and pine trees that has a wonderful view of the pond? I was going to kill myself there. But then I met you, and then you made me believe, and you kissed me. I never felt so alive before, and as for our date, I had everything planned, it was going to be perfect, but you never appeared, I felt so broken, so I went to my house, saw my bag with all the stuff, and proceeded with my plan. When I woke up I was in the hospital, and my parents talked to me, I told them everything. And then the next day they told me how they talked to you and how you Rachel, you broke what was left of it. I just wanted somebody to love me. My therapist told me that I had to write letters to all the people that hurt me at one moment in my life, that's why this letter is here. I just have5 more words for you: __**I HATE YOU RACHEL BERRY**_

_Sincerely, _

_Lucy_

Rachel's hand were now shaking "No…it can't be, it's impossible" she was sobbing; she couldn't believe who sent the letter. _I'm so sorry Lucy_ "I'm so sorry" she whispered. _I would never find my way without thinking about you Lucy _"You're the one that keeps me sane"

"_I know that when I think about a day without it_

_Everyday's the same_

_You wish that you could find someone_

_But I'm the only one to blame"_

Rachel was locked in her bathroom; she was in her bathtub, trying to wash all the painful moments away, she knew she was that caused all of it, she was the one that made Lucy try to kill herself, she was the one that told Leroy about Lucy, she was the one that missed their date, she was the one that said such horrible things to Lucy's parents. She wished she could blame her daddy for never been around, Leroy for causing her all this pain, Lucy for appearing in her life, but she knew, she was the only one to blame.

Rachel was now crying nonstop, she rested her head on her legs, her arms were wrapped around her, she was trying to clear her mind, to make sense, but she couldn't; she felt worthless, useless, _pathetic. _How could her world change with no more than two hundred words? She was replaying that day three years ago in her mind, she wished, oh how much she wished, that her mom was there with her.

"_When we live between so many walls_

_That I can barely breathe_

_You say that you just want someone_

_But I'm the only one you need"_

Rachel lived wrapped around so many walls, she hid behind them, she didn't want people meeting her true persona: a little girl that was scared of the world, of emotions, of _her dad_. When she was surrounded with people, around Leroy or when her demons came to surface, she felt sick, she couldn't breathe, she felt trapped, she just need someone to help her. She _needed_ _Lucy_ to help her. "You say you just want someone" she said while she stared blankly at the wall "But I'm the only one you need"

"_Can't you see?_

_I Beg and plead_

_Cause when your eyes light up the skies at night_

_I know you're gonna find your way"_

After a long "bath", Rachel was in her bed, staring at the package, she wanted to see if there was more inside; she opened the package and took out all her contents, she found two more letters and a picture, of Lucy. She thought that there were no more tears to shed, how wrong she was. "Lucy" she whispered softly while she stared at the picture "I need you" she passed her finger softly over the picture. "You're beautiful" she hugged the picture; she wanted to hold on and never let go. "I'm so sorry, so so sorry" her eyes were now puffy and red. She hadn't stopped crying. She begged, she prayed to God for help, she prayed for her mom to come back to her life, she prayed because she felt so sick of her life, she begged God for forgiveness, she prayed so He could forgive her father, so He could forgive her for all the things she had done wrong. Looking at the picture, exactly at Lucy's eyes, made her world light up for the first time in three years! She felt a sting of happiness, but she knew she couldn't read on it too much, she took Lucy's eyes like a signal, a sign that she was still alive and thinking of her in one way or another.

"_If it's me_

_That you don't need_

_When the lights go out tonight I know_

_You're never gonna find your way"_

She hopped that one way or another, Lucy could found the way back to her, she needed Lucy to hug her, to whisper to her ear that everything was going to be okay, that she would never leave her, that she loved her. But she knew, she perfectly knew, that Lucy was better without her, she would bring Lucy down, and she couldn't love her when she felt so broken. She started to think about her life, how different it could be if her mother was there, if Lucy was there; she barely let herself think about the "what if", but that letter really opened her eyes. She turned the lights off, laid down, and looked outside her window; she could see how darkness was taking over the streets, funny, just like her life; she stared blankly, she clutched the picture closer to her body, she shed one last tear while she whispered "I know you're never gonna find your way back to me" then she felt the sleep take over her body.

"_Soon when I get you I won't let you go_

_Oooh if I let you_

_You can take away all that I thought was wrong_

_And if you hear me there's not much to say_

_There's gotta be a better way"_

A sound woke her up, she was confused, her head hurt, her eyes stung, then she remembered, _Lucy…letter…picture_. She closed her eyes, when she opened them again she saw a figure standing at the bottom of her bed.

"Hi Rachel" the figure said

Rachel's eyes were wide open, she couldn't talk, her heart stopped, she started to shake her head "No-no, you're not here, I'm-I'm dre-dreaming, I have to be dreaming" she stuttered

"I'm real, I'm right here with you" the figure smiled "I came back to you"

"This is a bad dream, I'm dreaming, you're not real" she closed her eyes "When I open my eyes again you're going to be gone" she opened them and saw the figure still standing there "No. No! Why are you here?"

The figure silently approached Rachel, it was cautious, moving carefully so it wouldn't scare Rachel more. "I came back to you, _for you_" it cupped Rachel's cheek and looked right into her eyes "I _want_ you Rachel"

"Kiss me" Rachel whispered

The figured kissed Rachel softly, after a few seconds; the kiss was more forceful, full of lust, passion, happiness, _pain_. Rachel's hands found their way to the figures hair, she didn't want to let go.

"_Lucy_" Rachel moaned, she pulled Lucy closer, she had her now, now that she had Lucy, she wasn't letting go. With Lucy everything felt right, there were no mistakes, Lucy took away all the things that were wrong with her life, she knew that she could express with kisses and soft touches what she couldn't express her words. "Oh, Lucy" she moaned again when she felt kisses in her neck, she was surprised when a hand traveled from her stomach to her side, then to her back and back again. "Lucy….stop" in reality, she didn't want to stop, but this could lead to something else.

"Don't you want me?" she licked Rachel's neck, getting a moan from the brunette "Don't you need me?"

"There's gonna be another way" she panted, she couldn't catch her breath, she needed to stop, even if she didn't want to "Why aren't you stopping?

"Because I know you want me" she kissed the brunette forcefully "and you don't want me to stop" she slipped her leg between the brunette's legs, the brunette moaned loudly

"I wa-want you to st-stop" she grabbed Lucy by the shoulders and tried to push her away from her. "Please"

"No" Lucy started rocking her hips and kissed Rachel again.

"Lucy" she moaned "Oh, God_"_

"My name's Lucy" she gave her a cocky smirk, her hand started to travel between the brunette's legs

"_Oh, Lucy"_ the brunette whimpered

"_Can't you see_

_I beg and plead_

_Cause when your eyes light up the sky tonight_

_I know you're going to find your way back to me"_

"_Lucy"_ the brunette moaned "_I need you_" then she opened her eyes, she surveyed her surroundings, she looked at the bottom of her bed, she found nothing. _Where's Lucy? She was here one minute ago and now…._ "Fuck! It was a stupid dream!" she slammed her head against her pillow, she just wanted Lucy there, she took Lucy's picture that was now discarded in the floor, she hugged the picture and started crying. She needed Lucy, she wanted Lucy, she craved Lucy. _I hate you Lucy _"I hate you! I hate you for giving me this feeling, for breaking my façade, for disappearing from my life" she looked up, watching the white ceiling.

Rachel Berry had a secret escape, she sang when she was feeling broken, she remembered the lyrics of a song that reminded her of Lucy, so she started singing quietly

"If it's me

That you don't need

That when the lights go out tonight

I know you're never gonna find your way

If you pace around the world?"

She chocked, tears flowing freely, so she continued with the song, she was sure that she was singing it wrong, but it didn't matter to her

"Can't you see?

I beg and plead

Cause when your eyes light up the sky tonight

I know you're going to find your way back to me"

She finished singing, she couldn't continue, she wanted Lucy by her side "How I wish you could find your way back to me" she chocked those words out, and when sleep took over her, she just had one thought that having haunting her best dreams and her worst nightmares from the past three years: _Lucy_

In the same street, at the house that was in front of hers, a beautiful blonde smiled creepily while she took at the trash. One thought in her mind while she looked at the house of the brunette: _be careful with what you wish_.

"_And when your eyes light up the skies at night_

_I know you're gonna find your way back to me"_

* * *

**AN: Sorry if I misspelled something. I'll try to post soon.**

**The song is Back To Me- The All American Rejects**

**I don't own Glee or its characters neither any song used in this fic**

**Hope you like it. Any thoughts? Suggestions? Which songs would you like to see in future chapters?**

**Question:**

**Jail or Mental Hospital? **


	6. Hold On

**SUMMARY: Rachel Berry was the perfect girl, the perfect Christian, the perfect neighbor and the perfect daughter…but she had a perfect secret. What happens when someone finds out? Will there be more secrets?**

**This is my first fic, is A/U. Faberry. Don´t like it, don´t read it.**

**Special Features: Cheerio!Rachel**

* * *

**How to save a life?**

Chapter 6**: **_**Hold On**_

"_This world_

_This world is cold_

_But you don't_

_You don't have to go"_

Santana Lopez was watching her Captain, Rachel Berry; she had been watching her for a long time, not in the creepy kind of way, but in the concerned kind of way. Yes, Santana Lopez was concerned for someone that wasn't Brittany or herself, it was weird but she had her reasons. She knew by firsthand experience that the world is cold; she knew that Rachel Berry had a secret, which one? She didn't know…yet; but she was going to found out. She also knew that in one moment, when they least expected it, Rachel's was going to go, how? She didn't knew, but she had an idea.

"_You're feeling sad, you're feeling lonely,_

_And no one seems to care_

_Your mother's gone and your father hits you_

_This pain you cannot bear"_

She knew that behind her HBIC façade, Rachel Berry was sad, lonely, _broken_; but no one paid attention, everyone only cared of appearance, popularity, money. If you asked people what Rachel and Santana had in common, they would say that they were bitches, they just cared about popularity, they hated losers and that they were in the Cheerios; but Santa knew better, she knew about Rachel's mom disappearance, she knew how Hiram, Rachel's biological dad, married Leroy Berry, she also knew that Leroy had quite a temper. She worried about Rachel's safety, even if they weren't friends, she knew what it felt.

She had a plan. She tried approaching Rachel in a good way, she was calm, soft (something that Santana Lopez never was), but Rachel seemed not to get it; so now, she was going to do the things Snix's way.

She saw her prey, she approached carefully and silently, she took her by her arm and pushed her to the nearest classroom.

"What the fuck is your problem Lopez!" Rachel shouted while trying to free from the Latina's grasp

"Look Berry, I tried to do this using the good way, but you didn't listen, so I'm doing this using Snix's way" she freed Rachel "Now, sit" she pointed to the chairs in front of her

"Who do you think you are?" Rachel glared "I'm your Captain, you have to respect me, you have to do what I want, and you get orders from me, not the other way around"

"Look, I wasn't lying when I told you that I know how it feels, I know what is going on with your life" she said softly

"You know nothing!" she tried to storm off, but the Latina stopped her "Let me go!"

"No! You're staying here until we talk" forcefully, she made the brunette sit on one of the chairs "Now, you're going to listen to me"

"Fine!" she huffed "But don't think for a second that I like you and that I won't be getting revenge"

"Ok, over the past years, I have been watching you, not because I'm a stalker or a creep-"

"Even though that looks like you're a stalker or a creep"

"-it was because I kind of care about you"

"Wait, you care about me?"

"Yes, because I know what it's like"

"You know what it's like?" she raised an eyebrow "Can you stop with the riddles and talk like a normal person?"

"Ok, I have noticed how you hide behind that façade, and I have seen how you use tons of make-up, and how you always look in pain"

"So what?"

Santana turned around, giving Rachel her back "Did you know that my father used to hit me when I was ten?

"Wh-what?" Rachel was stunned at the Latina's statement, Santana Lopez, the girl they called Satan, the girl that was a bitch to everyone, who didn't give a fuck about following orders, was hit by her father? "Is that true?" she was hesitating to say those words, but apparently her mouth didn't coordinate with her brain

"_But we all bleed the same way as you do_

_And we all have the same things to go through_

_Hold on if you feel like letting go_

_Hold on it gets better than you know"_

"Yes" Santana whispered "That's why I told you that I knew how it felt" she then faced Rachel "We all have problems, some are similar to yours, some aren't, we all have obstacles along the way" she sighed and closed her eyes "But if you ever feel like you're lost, you can count on me, as a friend; hold on to me, and I will help you every step of the way" a silent tear ran down her cheek "I know that behind all those walls you have, there's a person, a little girl that's scared and need someone, I can be that someone"

Rachel was speechless, she closed her eyes thinking it was all a dream, she opened them again, and everything was so real Was Santana Lopez offering a friendship, a shoulder to cry on? Was she offering to be that someone that she could trust? Was she offering her help? "Why?"

"I see you Rachel; I see how you use too much make up, how you sometimes wince slightly when you move, how your eyes, even if they're void of emotion, they show pain, I see your pain" she grabbed Rachel's hand between hers "I can see the scars, I see them when you think no one is looking, I know about the one that's at your waist, the one you think no one sees, but I can see it" at Santana's statement, Rachel hand went to where that scar was located "I don't know how to end it, but I know how to get through it without going crazy, eventually it gets better" after that, they fell in a comfortable silence, staring at each other eyes

"Why me?" Rachel blurted out of nowhere, startling Santana "I mean, why are you so fixed in helping me?"

"Why not?"

"Because…" she sighed "because I'm not worth it" she whispered

"You're, you just don't see it" she lifted her hand when she saw that Rachel was going to argue back "Just hold on to me" with that, she left the room, leaving a confused Rachel behind.

"_Your days_

_You say they're way too long_

_And your nights_

_You can't sleep at all_

_Hold on_

_And you're not sure what you're waiting for,_

_But you don't want to no more"_

After they 'little talk' of the other day, they exchanged phone numbers, started hanging out after school, they talked, they were kind of friends. It was a shock to the student body of McKinley the moment the two biggest bitches at school entered hand in hand together; they just knew they were doomed.

Today was Tuesday; Santana entered her house and sat in the couch, turned the TV on and started zapping. After an hour of watching TV, her mother, María Lopez, entered the room and sat beside her daughter.

"Hola mija" María said after she left a kiss on her daughter's forhead

"Hola mami" she said without looking at her mother, her eyes trained on the TV

"What are you watching?"

"The marathon of _Women in Jail: Inside their minds_"

"What is it about?" she frowned when she saw a familiar face in the TV show

"They get inside of the penitentiaries, disguised as one of the guards or as one of them, they interact with all the women in there, they make them spill their guts about what they did, sometimes they help them, sometimes not…It's kind of cool"

"Wow"

"Yeah mami, that was my first impression" when the show when to commercials, Santana turned to face her mom "You should watch it, the last chapter was about a woman, what was her name?" she scratched her chin "Shal, Shiloh, Sheldon, Shula, Shola, Shuny, Shel-something like that" she flicked her wrist, which meant that the name of the woman didn't matter "Well, they talked to her, she looked like she was insane, anyways, her story was unbelievable because she had a loving family, something happened, and the next thing she knew, she was being taken away from her daughter by some cops, telling her rights and how she was accused of committing fraud and homicide, I think…" she laid her head in her mother's shoulder "Then she told the chick that was there that she didn't do it, that it was her husband's friend's fault. Also she had been in jail for 10 years and she hadn't seen her daughter even once"

"That was interesting" she absorbed all the information, she was sure of who the face she saw a while ago belonged to, and plus…the information her daughter gave her, confirmed her suspicions.

They spent the rest of the day watching the marathon, they even ate dinner at the couch, a thing they rarely did. While they were watching one of the last chapters, Santana's phone rang, she saw the ID and got worried, her mother looked at the clock, it read _11:45pm_.

"Quién es mija?" María asked, she was confused, who called at 11:45 pm. Her daughter's face told her all she needed to know.

"Voy a contestar mami, it's important" she got up and went to her room "Rachel?"

R- "_San-santana?" _her voice was weak, she sounded like she had been crying

"Yes Rach, it's me, are you alright?" she was worried, she and Rachel had become great friends, she will give her own life in order to save the brunette

R- "_I'm scared"_

"Sweetheart, can you take a couple of breaths for me?" when she heard that Rachel followed her instructions, she continued "Now, I need your address"

R- "_Why-why would you want my address? Yo-you know whe-where I live"_

"I have been to your house before, but I can't remember the address and it's already dark outside" she said softly

R- "_W Spring St, 2345"_

"I need you to calm down, I'll be there as soon as possible"

R- "_I-I'll calm down, hurry"_

She hang up the phone, ran downstairs and retrieved her keys from the living room table

"Mami, I'm going out"

"Where are you going?" she asked worriedly

"No time, don't ask" she rushed out of her house, started her car and started her trip to the Berry Residence.

Santana arrived at the Berry residence; she went to their backyard and looked up to the window she knew belonged to Rachel, she climbed the tree that was, conveniently, located near Rachel's window; she opened the window and entered the room, startling Rachel in the process.

"Who's there?" Rachel said while she stood up

"It's me" Santana whispered softly

"San?" she reached for the Latina and held onto her as if her life depended of it "I need you"

"I know sweetie, I know" she held Rachel "You need to take a bath, okay?" she felt the brunette nod against her chest; she guided Rachel to the bathroom, turned on the bathtub and sat the brunette on the toilet "Do you want me to help you?" she said softly

"Please" the brunette whispered, Santana proceeded to take Rachel's clothes off, she then guided her to the bathtub. She helped her clean her body, her hair, she have her a little massage. When she finished, she took a towel and wrapped the brunette in it, she guided her to the room and helped her change in comfortable pajamas. "I found another letter" she whispered

"Wanna talk?" Santana offered while she tucked Rachel under her bed sheets.

"Not yet"

"Go to sleep sweetheart" she caressed Rachel's cheek

"I can't sleep" she whispered with her eyes closed "I'm afraid that if I go to sleep, he'll come again" a tear slid down her cheek

"I'll be here to protect you, go to sleep" she hugged Rachel

"Sing to me?"

"Of course" she smiled "_Hold on if you feel like letting go_

_Hold on it gets better than you know_

_Don't stop looking, you're one step closer_

_Don't stop searching, it's not over_

_Hold on"_

"_What are you looking for?_

_What are you waiting for?_

_Do you know what you're doing to me?_

_Go ahead,_

_What are you waiting for?"_

Rachel fell asleep in Santana's arms, she felt safe; meanwhile, Santana was staring at the letters that were scrambled in the floor, she took a breath, her hands curled into fists. _What's she looking for? Was she torturing Rachel? Was she back? _She looked at Rachel, she looked so vulnerable, but at the same time she still looked beautiful. If Santana wasn't sure before, she was now sure as hell that she would protect Rachel from that bitch and from everyone tht tried to hurt her. _Bring it on! I'll be here waiting_ "Just hold on Rach" she whispered, left a soft kiss in Rachel's forehead, left the house and started her trip back home.

She wasn't aware of a blonde watching all her moves from a window.

"_Hold on if you feel like letting go_

_Hold on it gets better than you know_

_Don't stop looking, you're one step closer_

_Don't stop searching, it's not over_

_Hold on if you feel like letting go_

_Hold on it gets better than you know_

_Hold on"_

* * *

**AN: Sorry if I misspelled something. Sorry for not posting before, I was kind of busy with school and reading other fics. I'll try to post soon.**

**The song is Hold On- Good Charlotte**

**I don't own Glee or its characters neither any song used in this fic**

_**Hola mija- Hello daughter**_

_**Hola mami- Hello mommy**_

_**Quien es mija?- Who is it mija?**_

_**Voy a contestar mami- I'm going to answer it**_

**Hope you like it. Any thoughts? Suggestions? Which songs would you like to see in future chapters?**

**Soon: Quinn first day in McKinley, Rachel's mom, Becky Jackson, and some Faberry interaction :) **


	7. Ordinary Girl

**SUMMARY: Rachel Berry was the perfect girl, the perfect Christian, the perfect neighbor and the perfect daughter…but she had a perfect secret. What happens when someone finds out? Will there be more secrets?**

**This is my first fic, is A/U. Faberry. Don´t like it, don´t read it.**

**Special Features: Cheerio!Rachel**

* * *

**How to save a life?**

Chapter 7**: **_**Ordinary Girl**_

"_She's a mystery_

_What a sight to see_

_Just an ordinary girl"_

A mysterious blonde got out of her house and headed towards her car, today was her first day at William McKinley High School, she was expecting to cause some shock between her soon-to-be classmates; everywhere she went, she was admired, if she was on a cartoon, there would be eyes popping out of the head of the men, fire from the women eyes and maybe one or more heads spinning. She was beautiful, people tended to fall to her feet, to worship her.

"_She is like no one else_

_So far beyond our help_

_Just an ordinary girl"_

She was out of the league of everyone. She was perfect: she was blonde, had hazel eyes, had a soft but sometimes husky voice, she was tall but at the same time short, she was thin, she was strong, she was feminine, she was everything a man or woman wanted.

"_She packed her bags one summer day_

_And in the bright light walked away_

_Just an ordinary girl"_

Quinn Fabray once lived in L.A., she had lived there for the past three years, but her dad was transferred, she had to go back to the place that was her living hell, she packed her bags at the beginning of the summer, helped pack all the house stuff, and (reluctantly) changed the bright sunny days of L.A. for the dark and cold place that was Lima, Ohio.

"_She said, there must be more than this_

_Then solemnly blew one last kiss_

_Just an ordinary girl"_

She wasn't okay with moving to Lima. She hated Lima, she even preferred Alaska than Lima, she hated that Lima was the place where she lived the worst years of her young life. She asked, _begged _her dad to move to another place, to find another job, but that didn't go well.

**FLASHBACK**

_A heated discussion was taking place in Russell's Fabray studio, her daughter was yelling at him because she didn't want to move back to Lima; lately this discussions were happening a lot, they (or mostly Quinn) started yelling at each other everywhere, anytime, the discussions could last hours or minutes, it resulted in a cold shoulder (Quinn's part) and a look of disappointment (from Russell's). _

"_But why?" she shouted "I don't want to go back to Lima dad!"_

"_It's no open to discussion Quinn!" he shouted back_

"_Dad! You know what happened there!" a tear slid down her cheek "I don't want to go"_

"_Quinn…" he sighed_

"_No dad, listen to me…you can find another job or ask them to move to another place" she paused "I'll go anywhere but Lima! Please…" she hugged her dad "There must be another way" she whispered_

"_Quinn…" he broke away from the hug to stare at his daughter eyes "We have to go, you have to fight your demons so you can let go and move on"_

"_Dad…" she whined_

"_It's the final decision, we are moving" _

"_I…" she stared at the ceiling and then at her dad "I hate you" she threw several punches at his chest, but Russell just held her there; when she calmed down, she sat her on the couch._

"_I'm sorry Quinn" with that he left the room, leaving his daughter in the room broken in sobs_

**END OF FLASHBACK**

"_But sweet dreams were never meant to be_

_She turned away one minute, all her dreams,_

_They vanished with it_

_She is drowning in a sea of possibilities_

_Leaving her so ordinary"_

She arrived to her new house, she was fuming, she hated this house, but most of all: she hated Lima, Ohio.

"Quinnie!" her mom, Judy Fabray said

"Yes, mom" she said with no much enthusiasm

"Can you help me carry this boxes?" she sighed "They're just so heavy"

"Mom" she snorted "You know very well that you can carry this boxes" her mother's eyes widened "Don't look at me look at me like that, you know it's true"

"Okay, just carry them to the house" she ordered with a smirk on her face

She did as her mother said, she carried the boxes to the rooms were they belonged. She got everything out of the boxes, and started sorting it out. After a while, she found an envelope at the bottom of the cage #13.

"What's this?" she whispered while turning the envelope around "Uh, let's fine out" she opened it carefully and emptied its content; her eyes widened and welled in tears at the sight of the content, she shoved the content back to the envelope and threw it across the room. Just at that moment, her mom entered the room, getting hit right on the face with the envelope

"Ouch!" she grabbed her face "I know that you're mad about the boxes but geez, this was uncalled" this earned a chuckle form her daughter, she then noticed the tears that were running down her daughter's cheeks "Quinnie, are you ok?" she approached and enveloped her in a hug

"I´m fine mom" she brushed it off

"No you're not, you threw an envelope across the room" she looked at Quinn right in the eye "A heavy one may I add" they both chuckled "and you're crying"

"It's nothing mom" she wiped the tears with the back of her hand

"I'm here for you sweetie"

"I know, it's just that…" she took a deep breath "…that I don't want to be here, I feel that all my dreams will turn into nightmares just because I'm here, I feel that when I turn around it will all vanish like this" she snapped her fingers

"Sweetie, it'll all be find at the end" her mother tried to calm her down

"How can you know?" she snapped at her mother "I was fine in L.A, I had everything…but nooo" she stood up from her bed "You and dad had to decide that we would be better if we lived in Lima, but you're wrong. You're so wrong!" with that, she stormed off her room.

"_She wanted all her demons gone_

_She started drinking all alone_

_When she got home at 6 am_

_Callin' up long forgotten friends_

_She said, I love you so much Man,_

_What happened to all of our plans_

_They just hung up on her_

_It's really not extraordinary"_

She was now at the park near her new house, she knew really well this park. It was her favorite; she wanted to go to the place where all started, the place that held her demons and her angels; she spotted the swings and went to sit in the red one, then she took out her phone and dialed her first contact

"_Hello" _a feminine voice said

"Hey ba-Lisa"

"_Oh, it's you" _there was a pause in the other line _"What do you want?" _she said harshly

"I-I just wanted to hear your voice" Quinn said with a small voice

"_Ok, you heard it, now I´m going to hu-"_

"No! I mean, please don't hang up" she whispered "I miss you so much"

There was a sigh in the other line _"I miss you too, but if we want this to work, we need to stop calling and texting each other"_

"But I-"

"_No, you don´t" _Lisa snapped at her

"We could work it all out and be together" Quinn said "I need you"

"_I'm sorry, but we're over, we were over yesterday, we were over one week ago, we're over now, we'll be over in the future, try to get that" _the line went silent and then the sound of a beep signaled that the call was over

Quinn sighed and wiped the few tears that fell from her eyes, she got up and went to her house.

"_But sweet dreams slip so easily_

_We turn away one minute, all our dreams, they vanish with it_

_We are drowning in a sea of mediocrity_

_Leaving us so ordinary"_

It was now or never. She was stood in front the main doors of McKinley High, this was the end of her dreams and the beginning of her nightmares. She turned around and spotted her car, she could just run and go back to the house, she looked back to the front and saw the sea of people that was forming; she was about to leave when a certain brunette caught her attention.

She wait for the crowd to (mostly) disappear, walked to the door, pushed it open with both arms and smiled.

Everybody froze at the sight of the beautiful blonde standing at the door, she had an air of superiority and a big smile on her face. Boys were drooling, some girls were getting jealous and many other were getting turned on.

She got specially the attention of a certain Cheerio, she couldn't take her eyes off her. Quinn winked at the brunette cheerleader and smirked when the brunette blushed and looked away.

No one knew who she was….

"_She is a mystery_

_She is a lot like me_

_Just an ordinary girl"_

…but they were sure as hell that she was (maybe) another ordinary girl

* * *

**AN: Sorry if I misspelled something. Sorry for not posting before, I have been very busy and out of ideas. I'll try to post soon.**

**The song is Ordinary Girl- Jen Foster**

**I don't own Glee or its characters neither any song used in this fic**

**Hope you like it. Any thoughts? Suggestions? Which songs would you like to see in future chapters?**

**Soon: Shelby's history, Quinn's first day at McKinley, Becky Jackson, and some Faberry interaction :) **


	8. Home

**SUMMARY: Rachel Berry was the perfect girl, the perfect Christian, the perfect neighbor and the perfect daughter…but she had a perfect secret. What happens when someone finds out? Will there be more secrets?**

**This is my first fic, is A/U. Faberry. Don´t like it, don´t read it.**

**Special Features: Cheerio!Rachel**

* * *

**How to save a life?**

Chapter 8**: **_**Home**_

"_Another summer day_

_Has come and gone away_

_In Paris and Rome_

_But I wanna go home_

_Mmmmmmmm"_

Shelby Corcoran was staring outside her cell's little window, she then looked at the little calendar that was hung up above her bed's headboard and saw that another day had passed, but then her eyes widened, today was August 31st; ten years have passed since she last saw her daughter. She stills remembers that day as if it was yesterday

**FLASHBACK**

_Shelby Corcoran was playing with Rachel, her five year old daughter, on the playroom. Shelby was dressing and doing the hair of Rachel's dolls, while Rachel pretended that her dolls were singing on stage. For a five year old Rachel had great imagination, and combined with her love of Broadway musicals, she made (according to her daddy) the best musicals of the world. And let's add that she had a great vocabulary and her voice could melt a monsters heart._

_In that moment Rachel had a green doll dressed like a witch and a blonde haired doll with a beautiful white dress. _

_Shelby looked at her daughter and smile. She knew that Rachel loved to play with her Elphaba and Glinda dolls, and the reason was that Rachel's favorite musical was Wicked. She was about to say something when the door bell interrupted her._

"_I'll be right back honey" she kissed her daughter on the forehead and got up_

"_I want to go with you" the little brunette said while standing up_

_Shelby sighed and smiled "Fine"_

_The duo got out of the playroom and headed to the door._

"_I want to open" Rachel said_

"_Ask who it is first"_

"_Who is it?" _

"_Ohio's police department"_

_Shelby's eyes widened while Rachel frowned_

"_Mommy, why is the police here?"_

"_I don't know, but please go to the kitchen" she said while rubbing her temple_

"_But mo-"_

"_Rachel go!" she yelled but instantly regretted it when she saw her daughter's sad face_

_When she made sure that Rachel was out of sight, she opened the door and said "How can I help you?"_

_In front of her were two police men and behind them was her husband Hiram, who was in tears, while being consoled by his best friend, Leroy Berry, who had a smirk on his face._

"_We are looking for Shelby Corcoran" one of the police man said_

"_That's me" _

"_Mrs. Corcoran" the other police man said while cuffing Shelby "You're under arrest for the charges of fraud and murder. You have the right to stay in silence or everything you say will be used against you, you have the right of having a lawyer and if you don't have money the state will assign you one"_

"_I didn't do anything!" she yelled "Hiram, tell them"_

_Hiram just looked at Shelby right in the eye and shook his head._

_Out of nowhere a little body crashed against her. "Mommy, what's going on?"_

"_Rachel, listen to me I love you, remember that"_

"_Are you leaving me?" the little brunette was now on tears_

"_No baby, I promise I'll do anything in my power to come back to you" tears were cascading down her cheeks "Always remember who you are"_

"_No, mommy" she hugged her mother's leg in an attempt on stopping the police taking her mom, but she was taken away by Leroy "Let me go!" she tried to get free from Leroy's grasp "I want my mommy!"_

_The police made Shelby enter the car and closed the door. She looked out of the window and stared at her daughter, mouthing an 'I love you'. The police started the car and took off, at that moment she swore to herself that one way or another se would come back to her daughter._

**END OF FLASHBACK**

"_Maybe surrounded by_

_A million people I_

_Still feel all alone_

_I just wanna go home_

_Oh I miss you, you know"_

While being in jail Shelby made some friends, Ronny and Claire (her cell mates), Joanna (her best friend), Margaret (her confident) and April (her ex-friend with benefits, now former girlfriend); but she also made some enemies, Lola's Clan and Wanda, who tried to make her life impossible at every single chance they had (she got the scars to prove it)

Every day, she sat down with her friends and told them stories about Rachel, she told them how she loved Broadway Musicals and how she used to dream about being on stage, she told them about her family, and she told them how she hoped that her daughter visited or wrote her a letter. Her friends always listened at what she said and supported her at every chance they got, April just looked at her with loving eyes while resting her head on Shelby's shoulder.

Even with her friends and girlfriend's company, she still felt alone. She felt that there was a missing piece on her heart that belonged to her daughter; looking back to when she first got here she couldn't help but smile at the thought of how much she had changed, how her broken heart, thanks to April was now alive.

**FLASHBACK**

_Both women were lying in bed, covered by only a sheet; their naked bodies were against each other, hands were moving the path that they knew really well, moans of lust and pleasure filled the room. _

"_Shelby?" April asked when they finished_

"_Yeah?" _

"_Idon' twanttobefriendswithbenefits anymore" she said quickly_

"_I didn't understand" _

"_I said that I don't want to be friends with benefits anymore" the blonde said with her eyes closed._

_Shelby got up quickly from her place on April's chest and frowned "What?"_

"_It's just that…" she sighed and opened her eyes "I fell in love with you" she said in a whisper. "And being so close to you but not being anything at all it's killing me"_

_She was expecting to be left on the room alone or to be told to stay away, but she didn't expect on lips covering her own._

"_I love you too" Shelby said against her lips "But I was too afraid to admit it"_

_April had tears in her eyes "I'm glad you admitted it"_

"_So, will you be my girlfriend?" the brunette said nervously_

"_No"_

"_Why?"_

"_Because I want to be courted"_

_Shelby just laughed but then noted April's serious face "Seriously?"_

"_Yeah, I want to be courted like a princess"_

"_Okay, you'll be my princess" she pecked her soon-to-be girlfriend "But now" she said with a husky voice "are you ready for the next round?"_

"_Thought you would never ask" _

_They joined their lips and started the celebration of a new start, a new love._

**END OF FLASHBACK**

"_And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you_

_Each one a line or two_

_"I'm fine baby, how are you?"_

_Well I would send them but I know that it's just not enough_

_My words were cold and flat_

_And you deserve more than that"_

Every week she wrote a letter addressed to Rachel, telling her how life was on jail, how she had real friends (not like the fake _trophy housewives_ that used to be her "friends"), she wrote her about April and how happy the blonde made her, and she wrote about how she really missed her and hoped to see her soon. She sent some of the letters and kept others, and the ones that she sent were always returned; the last letter that she sent was returned with a note that said _'Don't try to contact us, we're better without you'_, which brought tears to her eyes.

"_Let me go home_

_I'm just too far from where you are_

_I wanna come home"_

Every night, while being in April's arms, she dreamt of the perfect family that April, Rachel and she would make, she dreamt of maybe one or two more kids running around the house, while Rachel practiced show tunes on the music room, how April would cook them dinner and how they would be a loving family. But reality was worse, she had April, but she missed her daughter, she wanted to have her close but they were so far apart.

August 31st was the date when her living hell started, but maybe this year was going to be different…

"Corcoran" the guard said while entering on the cell

"Yes ma'am"

"Pack your things, it's time to go"

"Time to go?" she frowned "Where?"

"You're going home" the guard gave her a little smile before stepping outside the room

"_Let me go home_

_I've had my run_

_Baby, I'm done_

_I gotta go home_

_Let me go home_

_It will all be alright_

_I'll be home tonight_

_I'm coming back home"_

Yes, Shelby Corcoran was finally going home

* * *

**If you were asking who April was here's your answer: I know it's kind of crazy but April Rhodes is Shelby's girlfriend :)**

**AN: Sorry if I misspelled something. Sorry for not posting before, I was kind of busy with school and reading other fics. I'll try to post soon.**

**The song is Home- Michael Bubblé**

**I don't own Glee or its characters neither any song used in this fic**

**Hope you like it. Any thoughts? Suggestions? Which songs would you like to see in future chapters?**

**Soon: Quinn first day in McKinley, Becky Jackson, and some Faberry interaction :) **


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